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To the part of me

So often we hide the parts of ourselves we are ashamed of, that we feel makes us unloveable or unacceptable, known as the ‘shadow.’ Our often unconscious rejection of these parts is at the very root of feelings of isolation and depression – as we reject ourselves for fear of rejection by others. And yet this is at the heart of what it is to be human.

“To the part of me that loves so deeply, longing for love in return and yet protects so fiercely that she cannot receive

I love you

To the part of me that is lost and alone and yet cannot trust the light that shows the way

I love you

To the part of me that looks so endlessly for answers, yet cannot trust the answers that come from within

I love you

To the part of me that aches to be held and yet cannot sink into the safety of an embrace

I love you

To the part of me that longs to be seen, and yet cannot allow the light to shine through the armour that surrounds my heart

I love you

To the part of me that dances to the strange music of life, and yet cannot let her beauty be seen

I love you

To the part of me that whispers the truth in the dark mystery of the night, yet cannot find the words to speak her truth out loud

I love you

To the part of me that is broken, and yet cannot reveal the brokenness to those who could with their love heal

I love you

To the part of you that meets me, knowing in that meeting we will feel the connection we are both longing for

I love you”

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Relax into Basic Trust

This Sunday is my last Guided Meditation on Zoom for the time being – I have plans hatching and need to be more offline for this. So I hope you can join me on Sunday at 9.30-10.15am – register here if you can:

In the meantime I am also recording some downloadable guided meditations you can listen to any time. My first one: the Basic Trust Guided Meditation is the first in the A Curious life Meditation series. It is guided by me, with piano played by the talented Mel Schroeder. We recorded this last year on a friend’s gorgeous grand piano so it was a spontaneous creation – raw and pretty much as it emerged. It has sparked my inspiration to create a series to support different aspects of the essential essence of being human.

So its about being held in Trust – at the root of our freedom to be.

My voice guides you into a calm, peaceful state of relaxation. Mel’s playing provides a delicate background to my words. When we can slow down, connect to and trust the support that is naturally available to us, our nervous system can settle and our minds can be still to open us up to a more relaxed state of being.

People think of meditation as some kind of special activity, but this is not how I see it. Meditation is simplicity itself. It is not just about sitting, or stilling the mind, or trying to get somewhere. It is simply about stopping and being present, that is all.

My meditations are all about encouraging presence. About allowing ourselves to be truly in touch with where we already are, now. And in order for that, first we have got to pause in our activity long enough to let the present moment sink in – long enough to actually feel the present moment, to see it in its fullness to hold it in awareness and thereby come to know and understand it and our experience of it better.

Only then can we be present, not in the doing or the thinking about what we need to do and where we need to be or what has happened or what will happen. Not in the trying to meditate or in efforting, or working at dropping the mind.

So often we are preoccupied with the past or the future that hasn’t yet arrived yet. And particular now when we are facing so much uncertainty and potentially feeling fear or anxiety about that future our minds are overwhelmed when we try to make sense or understand.

In listening to the guidance you can take some time away from the past or the future and just take notice of what is here just right now.  

Stop all the doing and thinking is to shift into a being mode for a moment. Consider yourself as an eternal witness, as timeless, an observer. Just watch this moment, without trying to change it at all. 

The funny thing about stopping is that as soon as you do it, here you are, present. No effort, nothing to do to be here.

In the meditation I will guide you into connecting with what you are feeling, sensing, noticing of your experience right now.

I invite you to be curious – to pay close attention – to just notice, observe, make contact with whatever is there for you just now.

You can hear a clip and purchase your download here.

I would love to hear from you if you go ahead and listen. I am always curious to hear how the experience is and if it is helping. Feedback please and, if you like it, I would be so grateful if you could share and spread the word.

I hope that this will offer people some peace – it is always about finding our way to the present moment

With love from me to you


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Showing up online

Prompted by the lovely people at ArtFarm, I have reconnected with my media background, on the other side of the camera this time, with my first vlog piece… it took not just 20 seconds of courage but more like about 50 takes for this little 5-minute video. Still, there was a joy in playing around and experimenting at creating something that people might enjoy or benefit from in these times. Once I let go of the need to get it right, I could relax and enjoy the process.

Its so often about that first step to show up. I noticed I had a lot of anxiety about getting it absolutely perfect but it was only when I let go of the control, dropped my inner judgment about what I looked like, sounded like, and getting the wording absolutely perfect that I could be more present with the message I wanted to get across and what I had to share with the people I hoped would watch the video. It was really about the experience I hoped people would have when they gave up some of their precious time to listen to what I was saying.

Once I had taken a deep breath and pressed upload, I felt more confident to ‘just have a go’ a second time, and also not to worry so much about getting it perfect! And so I took on another opportunity and now I have two vlogs on my Youtube Channel acuriouslife and I go Live on Facebook tomorrow for the first time… 

We don’t have to take big steps, just as long as they are in the right direction!

So this wee post is just to share my new ventures with you in showing up online – something we are all being called to embrace more often in these virtually connected times. The theme of both vlogs is how finding moments of just being curious about our current experience, being present, and just being, is so vital to our emotional wellbeing right now. It is such a simple way to get our feet on the ground, out of our heads and making that all important connection with our surroundings and with the oft-ignored wisdom of the body. Click here to watch

If you enjoy or find these useful please do like, subscribe to my channel and spread the word. Thank you 🙏 

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In stillness we can sense the future as it emerges

A friend shared the below with me from Cit. F. MORELLI, (Italian writer and psychologist, translated into English). It resonates deeply with the sense I am making of now.

I feel the tension of holding the paradox of feeling some fear yet trust… sadness for those already suffering sickness or loss by the virus and relief that so far my friends and family are safe… shock at the selfishness of bulk buying yet pull to make sure we have what we need… a nagging concern about the effects of the isolation on so many and desire to offer my support with all I have learned about nurturing connection with oneself and community… and most of all a deep respect for those right in the thick of things.

Continue reading In stillness we can sense the future as it emerges

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2020 Visions

Its time for 2020 Vision. Join me on Sunday 19th January to get clear on the next steps in your journey.
The turn of the year is often a time we feel drawn to reflect and contemplate our hopes and dreams.
This workshop is an opportunity to dive deep and connect into what you really long for in 2020.
I will hold the space for you to plant the seeds for your 2020 visions to flourish, connect to your powerful natural creative force and create vision boards to inspire and motivate. #meditate #create #2020vision #presence
@ The Creamery, Craigmyle, Torphins AB31 4HP
Sunday 19th January 10.00-16.00
Cost: £40
Drinks and snacks provided but please bring along some lunch to share.
Spaces limited to 8 people so please contact me to reserve your spot.
Leonie 🧡
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Love your perfect imperfections

Many days we are bombarded on social media with 100 ways to improve ourselves – how to be happy, lose weight, succeed at this or that, reach this goal, smash this target, be all the things. Life can feel like a contact sport! Change, improve, develop, progress – the culture of self-improvement is all-pervasive. Of course, this motivational culture can support us to reach for the stars – believe anything is possible. However, the flip side of this constant striving for perfection is an existential dissatisfaction – exhaustion, overwhelm – eating away at our self-esteem.

Now, I have nothing against a desire to learn and grow, but when it involves too much focus on what we feel is wrong with us, we risk rejecting parts of ourselves – what we perceive as our imperfections. Continue reading Love your perfect imperfections

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Life is alchemical

Nature loves courage. You make the commitment, and nature will respond to that commitment by removing impossible obstacles. Dream the impossible dream and the world will not grind you under, it will lift you up. This is the trick. This is what all these philosophers who really counted, who really touched their alchemical gold, this is what they understood. This is the shamanic dance in the waterfall. This is how magic is done. By hurling yourself into the abyss and discovering it’s a feather bed. Terence McKenna

There are so many ways of awakening, or tuning in, or whatever we call it – committing to being open to some creative life force that is within us all – a way of being that is looking out wide-eyed through the curtain of our eyelashes at life and spotting the possibilities, trusting the flow, leaning into the magic, into the alchemy of life that allows us to feel its deep mystery, the call of the divine. It is when we open to this feeling that we can trust and hurl ourselves into the abyss – and experience the soft landing – the open arms that await us when we let go of control and allow life to happen for us.

This is real living and it may well be exquisitely painful sometimes but it is also exquisitely joyful. Because we feel the mystery of life – the alchemy of our souls. Synchronicities happen, serendipity is our soundtrack, we feel the soft velvet touch of presence caressing our dreams and whispering Yes.

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Dare to Dream into 2019

Are you secretly already dreading setting New Year resolutions only to break them within days or weeks? Are you ready for something different, to go deeper?

Towards the end of each year, many of us turn (consciously or subconsciously) to reflecting on the past year’s successes and ‘failures’ and thinking about what we want for the year ahead. Often we use goals and New Year’s Resolutions to help us get to where we hope to get to in the year ahead. So often we have given up before we even begin…. reset the self-destruct button…

Well, I am done with all that and find out here about my Dare to Dream online retreat starting on 27 November…

Continue reading Dare to Dream into 2019